Thread:Vanessa Ravencroft/@comment-58.160.180.67-20161225155617

When I look at your profile page on Inkitt listing your stories the order of the story list (top to bottom) changes every now and then. Doesn't appear to be any chapter additions that coincide with the change in order so why does it change? I would expect the story with the newest chapter to be either first or last in the page but this is not the case.

I noticed that the chapter that had Eric wear the cloak of the Dark One on Narth has changed in the Inkitt version. There is no longer an altercation with the High Priest of the Dark One who got sent to the dark flames in earlier versions also no introducing of the Dark One cloak.Does this mean that the introduction of the cloak will be elsewhere?

If so then the way some of the later comments from Eric read about Narth Supreme hiding deatils from him (at Eric's request) do not make sense. You say he (Eric) asked Narth Supreme to hide the details of him being something (the Dark One), but there is no mention of that occuring in the Inkitt storyline.

I understand your getting this ready for publishing but the plot hole is so big that a truck wil fit through it when you consider you reference the scene on Narth (Narth Supreme hiding something) that no longer occurs in the Inkitt version.

I was surprised you went with the plot line of Har-Hi going through the space anomoly but that might be your way of introducing Lord Lumis, if that happens in this version.

I don't mean to knit pick on your story but if this is to be published then I want to see the best product produced. Inconsistencies in the storyline where you appear to have cut and pasted sections of the old story to Inkitt but left plot holes need to be corrected.

However I'm also looking forward to seeing where you go with the new "official published" version that you are now working on. Will the Red Dragon get smashed? Will the Celtest repository be found? Will it have the Celtest AI that was mentioned in an earlier version?

I don't want to knit pick on issues but I want to see you publish you best work and I think the above issue shows that copy and paste of sections without the in between looses the structure of the story. 