Message from VegasRick

FROM SOL Feedback TO You Show Details FromSOL Feedback   [mailto:Tovanessaravencroft@yahoo.com Tovanessaravencroft@yahoo.com] Message from: VegasRick  vegasrick

I’m enjoying your stories, but just had to give you some feedback on the need for better editing.

With few exceptions, every time I page down in a story I find distracting writing errors.

Here are some examples from Chapter 4. Most distracting is the improper use of capitalization. For example, in the sentence “You saved Billions of lives by sending…” there is no grammatical basis for capitalizing the word billions. Similarly, “.. glued them with Space suit emergency seal tape ..” should not capitalize the word space. This aggravating tendency is widespread.

It’s pretty erratic as well; e.g., the word psionic in “.. the psionic power of teleportation was the rarest and most energy consuming of all Psionic powers.”  Deciding to both capitalize and not capitalize the same word in the same sentence is pretty dyslectic.

There are many incorrect word usages and improper use of commas throughout all the stories. The phrase “This time however Roy managed to twist and turn his body ..”  needs commas to read “This time, however, Roy managed to twist and turn his body ..”  Also, the sentence “No matter how insensitive and callous his comment was it was a serious thing.” needs to have a comma in the middle so it reads “No matter how insensitive and callous his comment was, it was a serious thing.” because the subject of the sentence is “it was a serious thing” (but allowed to be repositioned by proper comma use into the end of the sentence).

A big part of effective writing is, after all, to make it “reader friendly” by avoiding such grammar errors. Good grammar makes the story flow; bad grammar makes the story stutter and stammer.

Hope this helps. Keep up the good, creative yarning!

VegasRick