Yellow Stone 2.0

Yellow Stone 2.0

With a crunching grinding sound, the large Suburban rolled up and stopped before the neat blockhouse with a US flag flapping in the mild afternoon breeze.

A man in a dark green uniform exited the passenger side and was greeted by a tall, suntanned and fit looking man in a similar uniform. “Good morning Director, Sir, welcome to Yellow Stone 2.0”

Another man in a dark suit, polished shoes and neck tie exited the car, it was the Secretary of the Interior.

The secretary spoke first.”Thank you, Ranger Smith. We came,as you know to see and learn how you managed to sent in a check of 23 million in revenue, in a time we don't have enough resources to even keep most parks open.”

“Concessions sir.”

“We got concessions in every park, how would a few stalls that sell souvenirs and burgers create that kind of money?”

“It's only the first check, we are getting those every month now.”

“22 Million a month?”

“See those tour buses over there? Two hundred of them every day.”

“What has changed?”

“Ever since we leased out Old Faithful  to Budmeister. It spews beer every

91 minutes. Cool refreshing Budmeister. The beer is free, but the t shirts, the catch tankards, the take home canisters and the funnel hats are of course not. We can't keep enough supplies.”

The Minister gasped. “Old faithful spews beer?”

“Well truth to be told, we capped it and pipes take the hot water away, heating the Nasbear Race track hotel by the way. There is a another pipeline direct from the brewery, and a high pressure pump. You should see the glee and the burping of the men that come. We also installed out door flat screens showing Bear wrestling and of course the Miss Park Ranger Beer Wet T shirt competition.

We getting rich just by the 50 cents we charge at the Porta Johns. We substituted all the free bath rooms with pay per pee fees and high fines to whoever uses trees.”

“Is that a Boca Bola sticker on your uniform?”

“Yes,it's for the kids. We got a Boca Bola Geyser too.”

“I am afraid to ask, what else did you change?”

“Well you probably won't recognize the Roosevelt Arch anymore. We replace them with certain yellow ones. You know the famous M”

The Park Service director was cherry red and screamed. “You have a lot to atone for!”

The Secretary of Interior said. “Calm down,Sir. 22 Million a month is nothing to sneeze at. How did you keep the environmentalists at bay?”

“We introduced a Tree hugging area and we have two Colorado concession contractors who supply weed vending machines. They never get past those machines, buy all the chocolate bars in the next vending machine and no one ever protested.”

“Well Ranger Smith, let's see what you can do with Blue Ridge Parkway.”