Talk:CHAPTER 6: USS DEVASTATOR

Some items
"Have the Dai and the Archa arrived?"

"Yes and the princess is here as well."

"Make sure they are kept together and Olafson is to be assigned to that group."

"I added the Saturnian and the Spider as well."

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Since "the Archa" has already been mentioned wouldn't it make more sense if "the Spider" were "the X101", Or maybe "the Sojonite"?

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"Captain Zezz's ship! I had no idea you served under him. It seems I have neglected to read your service record lately. I did not know you went with him. And you manned OPS?"

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It seems odd that the sort of tests Stahl performs would be done without reading a service record immediately beforehand. It might not have been updated to have Zezz's evaluation but I would certainly expect Stahl to have seen a recent enough version to know that Eric had been on the Hyperion.

The reason this seems odd to me is that something could easily happen in 3 or 6 months that shows someone to be completely unfit for command, and if that occurred there would be no reason for Stahl to show any further interest.

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Tough luck, deal with it

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I think this line would be better if it were a more forceful "Tough shit, deal with it.", use the contrast from more usual Navy speech to hammer the point that Eric is in command now.

I might also suggest using "pissing" instead of "peeing" in "it was me who ended up peeing while meeting the big legend"