This need to wear women's clothes is really pulling the story down

Comment / Review from Allerum


This need to wear women's clothes is really pulling the story down. This much of a character flaw is hurting your story. Unless the reader is someone who likes to wear women's clothes having the main character express this need, makes the main character feel fake. This is why fetish sites exist as those who want to read this go there and read it. I will continue to read it but your story is getting more wrapped up in his gender identity and you lose the feeling of a galactic war. A person who has done such courageous acts and then feels the need to be a female throws the whole story into implausible.

If your main character was going to like women's clothes you should have made him a woman from the start. This transformation from man to woman is only important for people who go through it, with a story this long and this complex your audience is vast and many people will not want to feel awkward reading this. A transgender hero is not-mainstream for novels because 90% of people cannot relate to it. I love your world you have created, but with technology so advanced I do not think a person would struggle with this as some do today. I feel they would go straight to the doctor and be gender reassigned immediately.

Vanessa's Reply
Sorry it took me a while I know, to respond I mean. But I was busy in real life and only recently checked on new Comments. So here is my answer:

This is the third rewrite of Eric's tale. In the first tale he did the Cross Dressing thing. I wondered if it fits so I took it out in the second version and I got comments telling me that it was that lacking the crucial part that made Eric a unique Character.

I put it back in because it is an important Element of the Story.

Before I explain to you why, I feel that your generalization that a story about someone who has “Gender Disorder Issues” immediately needs to be in the Pervert Section behind the curtain in the Back Alley store of XXX_Red-light is actually a little frightening.

It is almost as if that aspect is so engrossing you that it creates such a strong reaction.

What if the Character would have been gay? Would that also need to be in the XXX section?

The Story has no explicit described sex scenes and if you give the Story a chance you might see that it is a plot point.

Yes Eric lives in the far future, but his Planet rejects technology as much as possible. The age old ideas of what is strong and what is right and what defines a man are deeply entwined in the Culture of Nilfeheim.

Eric's desire would have causes his society to reject him and give his father the right to put down his son as unfit to live.

Now as for the reason:

Eric loses his mother at the age of 5. He sees her being killed, whipped to death by hos father. There is no counseling,no grief management, no Psycho surgery. Eric finds a connection to his mother by “becoming her” dressing up in her Boudoir.. that alone would be a very plausible explanation for a psychological induced Gender Disorder.

But this is Science Fiction and a Story and the reasons are much deeper:

There is Tyr, the White Tyranno who is the reincarnation of a Cosmic Elder with vast Psionic powers and a mission. His mission is to ensure the Vessel of the Future Dark One (Eric) learns about the RULE and when it is time for the Dark One to make his decision, he chooses the Site of Light. In an attempt to temper the Dark Ones fury and anger Tyr grafts the spirit and personality of Eric's unborn sister (She died as a Fetus along with her mother) onto Eric's personality and in doing so hopes that Eric completes the transition from Male to Female and eventually learns the secrets of Womanhood (trusting a lover by receiving, and eventually giving birth as the motherly understanding of life and love) Mother love to a child is a very strong emotion and with this Tyr hoped the Dark one would be easier to entice to chose the Side of Good when the time for the Decision comes.

If you read on you notice that Eric now lives as Erica and he is getting doubts that this was the right decision. He fails to understand the women around him, to make the final complete transformation eludes him.

To all this comes the fact that he is in love with Shea … and not in a lesbian way.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm">His bonding with the Narth was not foreseen by the Elders of the Universe, but the Narth Supreme recognizes that this bonding is the key to introduce the Third Way.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm">Now I could go on and explain it all in detail but that would be beside the point of course.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm">You can give the story a chance and see what happens or you can decide that the Gender Issue offends you and quit reading it.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm">I really appreciate your comment and you taking the time to write your thoughts and suggestions. I am not in the least offended and I welcome any future comments and if you want a continued discussion or conversation.

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm">If you care you could even join the GalNet Wiki and use the Water cooler section or the Blog to start a discussion. There are now about 12,000 regular readers and your comments and suggestions are very valuable!

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm">Truly yours

<p style="margin-bottom: 0cm">VR